so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
