I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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