Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
