I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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