I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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