Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
