I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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