I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
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can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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