the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
