My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
