Having a random hookup so left but love u
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
