just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
