i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
