Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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