I will die if light touches me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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