Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
