Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
