so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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