You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
