That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
