i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
