No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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