guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
