Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
