He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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