we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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