is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
