me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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