she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
