You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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