we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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