i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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