I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
false alarm, still single
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
