I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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