so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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