i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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