Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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