imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
