We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize