I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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