So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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