Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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