It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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