I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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