you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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