JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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