just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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