There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
