Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
