She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize