Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
