Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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