Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
