a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my shit smells like andre
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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