Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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