Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
