P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
