Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
