This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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