she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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