He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
