If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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