Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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