About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
