oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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