i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize